Today I want to share a super cool technique I use to uncover underlying drivers that can sabotage your success if not addressed.
Recall a time you …
- Lost your temper
- Gave away too much energy to something icky that happened – so much so, you couldn’t stop the replay of events
- Felt like a day started poorly and then watched it continue to spiral downward
Now, suppose I asked you:
To whom or what do you give your power away and better yet, how do you take it back?
Would you know how? Really know how? Would you like to know how?
Yeppers! Because these “how to” kinda tools are absolute gamechangers and we’re diving into one of them right now.
Today, I’m sharing several insightful questions that will give you clarity and help you own your personal power. These are the exact types of questions, tools and techniques I’ll be teaching in my 6-week Mastermind, Learn the Language of Self-Leadership, this September.
If you value these kinds of Self-leadership tools, I invite you to learn more about this Magical Mastermind here.
For today, let’s dive into several insightful questions to help you own your personal power.
Most of us give our power away in two classic scenarios:
#1. With an emotion we’re trying to avoid or repress – this emotion then becomes the driver behind our thoughts, actions and words.
#2. With a fundamental or core driver that takes over without our conscious awareness.
At your core, when you say or do something when you’re triggered, it’s often because you have an unmet need for:
- Safety & Security
- Approval & Acceptance
Once you uncover the core driver behind your emotions you can respond more thoughtfully.
The next time you’re triggered, ask yourself:
With respect to this event, am I wanting to feel more secure, more in control, more accepted, or more significant?
Could be one feeling you desire, could be several.
This is a game-changing Self-awareness question because most of us aren’t used to looking at the why behind our behaviors. Discovering a core driver is eye-opening.
When we don’t understand what’s happening internally we often give away our power externally. Really understandable, and really not helpful.
Once you’ve uncovered the driver that’s taken over, it’s time to strategize a thoughtful plan of response with the magical jujitsu of detachment so you can take your power back.
Suppose your colleague undermined you in a meeting and you got embarrassed.
You’re triggered, so you’re just about to go give him a piece of your mind when you remember to own your power and not give it away.
You might ask yourself:
In this moment am I wanting Safety & Security, Control, Approval & Acceptance or Significance?
Answer it. Then ask …
Knowing what I’m after, how might I give it to myself?
Who might I become if I dropped my embarrassment?
Who might I become if I dropped my desire for external control with my colleague because I already have internal control?
Who might I become if I dropped my desire for external security with my colleague because I already have internal security?
How might you feel now? More grounded? More secure? More in control? More significant? More secure? More accepted by yourself?
This is the gift of owning your own power.
No matter our trigger, at our core is the desire to feel safe and secure, in control, accepted or significant. Each one of these feelings can be the main driver behind our desire to react.
The next time you’re feeling “off” or find yourself triggered, upset, or annoyed… a great technique is to tune-in and ask yourself, Am I seeking security, control, approval or significance? Once you uncover the main driver ask yourself, How might I give this to myself? and How might I possess it already?
Hands down, I’m sharing the most important tools for your growth in this Mastermind 1.11, Learn the Language of Self-Leadership experience.
Self-leadership [i.e. emotional intelligence & the conversations you need to have with Me, Myself and I] is the key to mastering your life.
Without Self-leadership you’ll be scrambling after happiness and peace your whole life.
What if instead you could re-energize your life?
This doesn’t mean working harder. It means taking action more insightfully.
And I’m going to show you exactly how to do it, step by step, tool by tool, one brilliant question after another in my She Gets It Mastermind.
Register by September 15th and use code SGI200 to receive $200 off either the Primary or Premier option.
I invite you to check it out by visiting shegetsit.com/mastermind.
Groups of 10+ women? Contact us for a team discount at firstname.lastname@example.org.
To mastering your own best life.
Already participated in Mastermind 1.11? Then you know all about it’s juicy goodness first hand. Please forward this email to a woman you care about.
AND, get excited! Mastermind 2.22, Let Your Leadership Signature Shine launches in 2023! Booyah!